Alexis dropped by often and we went out at night. Other nights we stayed in with a rental movie and candy - some nights we did nothing but talk. And some nights... we just cried.
Alexis had proven to be an awesome friend to me the past few months, and we really had started to bond like we never had before. I looked forward to seeing her. But what happened that day was unexpected, I think, for both parties. She dropped by my apartment with a little bit of something to show me, and stayed for awhile.
She handed me a box, and when I flipped it open I saw tiny little trinkets, notes on napkins, bottle caps, little figurines, etc. She smiled and said, "Zac used to collect all this stuff and keep all of it in his pockets, and I used to yell about it, because he would just play with all the trinkets and never just... get rid of them or... you know, do something with them.. so one day he just started giving them to me..." She laughed, "Hell, I hated those things, I didn't want them but I collected them in this box and I guess, I forgot about it for a while..."
I looked through it, "What is this? Shit he found on the ground?"
"Yes, actually," She said, laughing, "He used to pick up stuff all of the time, and just put it in his pocket, I think he found something intriguing or lucky about them..."
I smiled to myself, because I knew just what she meant. Zac, the little packrat. She leaned her head on my shoulder and I fiddled with the things in the box. I noticed for the first time every time she brushed my arm, touched my hand. I suddenly found myself wondering If she was noticing, too. I turned to face her and I thought I had something to say, but no words spilled out of my lips. She looked up at me and instead of speaking, my lips fell upon her lips, and we were held together by our kiss.
When we pulled apart I placed the box in my lap on the coffee table and then leaned forward to kiss her again. She didn't protest, and instead wrapped her arms around me, welcoming the gesture.
My mind was whirling, but not with thoughts of Zac, not of Annissa, and not with thoughts of the child growing within her. I was just pulsing with passion for this girl, I suddenly felt the desire to have her all around me, and in my life. I discarded all of my uneasy feelings as soon as they came - and the sirens in my head faded. I knew that what I was doing wasn't going to just be forgotten, and that I wasn't going to walk away leaving a mess behind me. Not because this was Zac's girl, not because of the baby she was carrying, but because I really felt this one meant something to me. I wanted her in my life.
My lips trailed down her neck and across her collarbone, my hands on her stomach. I felt her hands touching and squeezing my ass, feeling slightly strange - even uncomfortable - about this I pulled back and looked at her quizzically. I never had one of my lovers start with my ass.
"Hm, feisty?" I commented, with my eyebrows raised, smiling at her.
"Uh... Well, I don't know... I ... guess I'm just used to him..." She said, unsteadily.
I leaned forward again and began sucking on her neck again, I closed my eyes and asked slowly, "Zac?"
"Yeah," She said, hesitating, as if she didn't want to bring it up, but she did.
I nuzzled my face in her neck, "Zac liked his ass felt?"
I could feel the blush on her face, "Yeah, he liked his ass felt, he liked it touched, poked, slapped... It was like, a guaranteed way to put him in the mood."
"Well," I said in her ear, "You know what I really like?"
"What?" She said, her green eyes staring at me excitedly.
"It really turns me on when a girl sucks on my toes..."
"Your... toes?" She laughed, "I thought you were joking when you said that before!"
"Well, I wasn't." I smiled, "I don't know, there's something about it that I just... really, really like..."
She smiled, "Okay, toes... When was the last time you showered?"
"This morning."
"Good," She said, sliding down and grabbing my left foot. She began to rub my feet with her hands, obviously experienced at the art of foot rubbing. This aroused curiousity in me. I wondered what Zac was like with her. It's not like he ever needed a foot rub, he sat down for a living. Lazy ass.
There was something refreshing about this experience. I was momentarily afraid I was being driven by hormones and pent up sexual frustration, but all around me - I couldn't see the wrong. She was beautiful... and I made a promise to myself, right then, to love her for the rest of my life - whether as a lover, or just a companion and friend.
I turned my face towards hers and let a short laugh out, "Alex... what are we doing?"
She smiled at me, "I don't know, but I don't think we should stop..." She brought my foot to her face, and I smiled at her encouragingly as I watched her think for a second, perhaps about my feet. "Hey, Tay... how do you suppose I should go about sucking your toes?"
I shrugged, "I don't know, just suck them? Bite, suck, tongue... Whatever feels good..."
She laughed, "I feel so weird about this, but here goes..." She took my big toe into her mouth and began to suck on it, rubbing her tongue up and down the bottom of it. I let out a sigh and closed my eyes. This felt so nice.
I could feel her teeth on the balls of my feet as she let her mouth trail around that area. Her tongue between my toes, and the roof of her mouth rubbing against them as she sucked. I never understood why I was so responsive to this, but God, did it feel great to have my feet in someone's mouth. She must have noticed my visible enjoyment, because she soon pulled away and slid back up my body, and said, "Did you enjoy that, Taylor?"
"Yeah."
"I like it when you enjoy it... It makes me happy," She said, her hands sliding over my erection. I smiled, teeth and all.
"I love to see you smile, Taylor," She said, leaning down and kissing me.
When the kiss was broken she pulled back slightly and looked down. I watched her as she undid my buttons, and pulled down my zipper. I watched her face as she pulled it out into the opening. I knew she was thinking about him... making some kind of assessment or comparison in her head. I wanted desperately to know what she was thinking, so, I asked - shyly, but... I asked, "Alex... What are you thinking?"
"I'm thinking about," She said, sliding her hands over the length of it, "How.. how similar you two are... yet... how different you are..."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well..." She said, looking directly at me, "If you want to know... You guys are like... a completely different build... but every time I look at you, I see something in you that was in him, too. You sound just like him, Tay, and your personalities... the way you smell. It feels so similar to be with you, it's almost frightening."
I looked at her, and I didn't have a response. I just opened my mouth and let no words come out. She smiled and pushed me down on the couch, "Not saying it's a bad thing..." I smiled, "Here, lets shed some layers..." She offered, pulling her shirt off over her head, and smiling at me.
I think I laughed and she looked at me funny. I just shrugged and said, "I've just... never been with a pregnant woman before... I don't know, there's something so... strange about this situation..."
That was when she looked me square in the face and said with a flat tone, "I've never been with a dead boyfriend's brother, before."
I stopped dead. How was I supposed to respond to that? I looked down at myself, suddenly feeling guilty... dirty... and horrible... and What if Zac ever knew? How could I do this to him? Was I betraying Annissa? I loved her... Didn't I? My emotions whirled and tears came to my eyes, I swallowed. I swallowed hard as to avoid the old feelings.
She read my expression and averted her eyes, "I'm sorry Tay; I didn't mean to say that..." She pushed me down and brushed her hands through my hair, "I didn't mean to." She kissed me on the lips and brushed loose tears from my eyes, "You're okay. You're okay."
For the first time... I believed her when she said that.
Her hands slid around the waist of my pants and I felt her yanking them down. Alex was blunt with her words, and inside she was tearing me apart... but outwardly I couldn't stop listening... I couldn't stop giving her my ears and my attention as she continued...
"You know, we fucked the day he died. We fucked in your room... on his bed..." Her hand gripped my penis, and I stared at her, not wanting to hear what she was saying, but so intent on it... I couldn't stop feeling the intensity of this moment. "...I laughed the whole time, and He made sure to give me a tummy massage, even though he knew it was months before he would be able to see it. We both ran out the door fucking slaphappy, and we had a nice dinner... went to the bookstore... and some FUCKER took him away from me. Some FUCKER speeding on fucking icy roads... some idiot who survived."
I was wriggling in her grasp, she was making me so horny, but I just wanted to get away... The tears were flowing out of my eyes, but strong intense sexual emotion was flowing through my veins. She pumped and squeezed, and I think I was just about screaming from her treatment, I had no refutes, I was too busy writhing around in sheer physical pleasure. But I could see the tears in her eyes, and I knew there were some in my own. It hurt to think about... it hurt bad.
She squeezed me one last time and I sprayed all over her stomach. She let out a soft sigh and looked me in the face, "Everything you do reminds me of him."
"And like you don't? Alexis... Every time I see you I think of him - This..." I said rubbing her stomach, smearing cum along the way, "...is his. And I can never forget that... I'll never associate you as anything else but Zac's girl, even after this... Don't you see that?"
"And you're nothing but Zac's big brother..."
I began undoing her pants frantically. All the words... all of the emotion - everything I kept inside began spilling out of my lips. We clung to each other in our desperation as I began to speak.
"The last time I saw Annissa... Her father was beating her. I went in... and tried to intervene... and he got the better of me. He told me I would take anything if I loved his daughter... and that I had to prove it to him. So I did... I let him humiliate me in front of her. He didn't like that and he hit me where it hurts most..." She was planting trails of kisses all along my neck, and I was holding tight onto her, one hand rubbing forcefully against her on the outside of her panties. "I can't remember how I got out... If he weren't drunk I probably would have never gotten out of there... if he weren't drunk... the whole situation probably would have never taken place. I drove out of town... I drove three hours down the road and stopped in cornfields. We fucked in the car... my nads ached like hell. That was all I could think about - was how violated I felt... and how much my balls hurt. It was a quick fuck... and I dropped her off at home. That was the last time I saw her alive. If I had only known..."
She gave me a look of sheer sympathy, and kissed me. Her breath was short and her eyes glazed - I moved my hand and wrapped both of my arms around her, "We're here for each other."
She reached down and yanked off my pants, and I helped her wriggle out of her own. I leaned forward and kissed her, and she smiled back at me and placed my hands on her tummy.
"Tay, is this just a one time thing?"
"I don't know..."
I leaned forward and lapped the remainder of the smeared cum off of her stomach. The taste was bitter, but I didn't mind. I planted tiny kisses all the way up from her tummy to her breastbone, and nuzzled my head against her neck. I slid my hands off of her belly and onto the buttons on my shirt, god I was getting hot, and she was so pretty... and... She just slid her bra off. Wow, does she have nice breasts. I slid my shirt off my shoulders and placed it in the pile of clothes next to us. Her fingers ran over my barely-showing ribs. I didn't feel hollow. I leaned in and kissed her newly exposed breasts and she smiled at me, giving an appreciative moan. Her hand grabbed my own and offered me the job of yanking the panties. So I took it, and rubbed her frantically between the legs with one hand, and holding her breast with the other.
She grabbed my cock and used it to try and get me closer, "C'mon Tay, screw me..."
"Hey, is this at all... bad for you.. or the baby?" I wondered.
"No, actually its good," She said, "It encourages the whole birthing process... now fuck me..."
I laughed, "Alright," I said, kissing her neck softly, "But no babies afterward, okay? I don't think I'm ready for that yet..."
I slid into her easily, and found having sex with a pregnant woman an immediately odd experience. Granted, even kissing her felt strange because of the tummy, but actually having sex with her, and watching her, and trying to lean in and kiss her at the same time and be blocked by a round pregnant tummy was odd. I did find the experience thoroughly enjoyable, though.
She lay back and watched me as I stood up and reached for my clothes, "Tay, you don't need to get dressed so quick... I'm not a one night stand."
I stood and looked at her with my hands on my hips, I was not ashamed. "Do you want to look at me naked?"
She nodded and pulled herself up into a sitting position, "Yes, actually... I rather enjoy the sight of you naked."
I cocked my head to one side and smiled at her, "What's your favorite part?"
"Your eyes..."
I laughed and picked up a shirt off the floor and threw it at her, "You jerk."
The front door flew open and I fell over from my bent over position and looked up at Alex.
"Shit."
I grabbed my underwear and threw various articles of clothing at Alexis on the couch, and got as many clothes on as possible before Ike walked in the room.
"Hey Tay, you'll never guess who I saw downtown."
I had been picking up a T-shirt, and I snapped up from my position bent over a pile of clothes and smiled weakly at him and his friend in the doorway, "Oh? Johnny Lang." I know my voice cracked.
"Um, Tay... where did that shirt come from?"
I looked down. Oh shit, I put on Alexis's pink rhinoceros shirt. I looked up, in search of Alexis. She had tactfully left the room without my knowledge. Thank god.
"Tay...?"
"Oh, ah, I ... I found it and I was uh... doing laundry so..." I looked down and saw a bra on the floor at my feet and quickly swept it under the couch with my feet, "Um, I decided I would wear it while I was waiting so I could wash all the rest of my clothes..."
"Tay... your shirt is stuck in your pants."
"Oh, well would you look at that," I said, looking down at my open fly and pink t-shirt shoved halfway in my pants and halfway out.
He gave me an 'I'm going to get this out of you later' look, and invited Johnny into the kitchen for a drink.
I scrambled around the room, shoved the bra I found in my pants and walked into my bedroom, finding Alexis there. She was wearing her pants and curled up in my blanket, and my t-shirt was thrown on the bed.
She turned to me, "So, you're clear?"
"I'm a horrible liar, Ike's going to interrogate me later, and I'm probably going to be in trouble for being anti-social, but I really need to get out of your shirt." I pulled it off and grabbed my own off of the bed.
"By the way, where did you get a pink shirt with a rhinoceros on it?"
She laughed and took it from me, "The world may never know."
I lay down beside her and we laughed for a bit. "I hope you didn't mind me squirting all over you."
"No, I kind of liked it... especially when you licked it all up."
I blushed and ran my hands gently over her stomach, "I wish Zac were here to see you now."
"I wouldn't be with you." She said, her fingers tracing the stitch on my unclasped belt.
"You wouldn't need to be with me." I said, softly, "You wouldn't need to be with anyone... because Zac would be loving you."
"Is that my bra shoved in your pants?"
"Oh, yeah." I pulled it out and handed it to her, "I forgot."
She giggled and threw it aside with her T-shirt, "I was wondering where it went."
"Aren't you going to put it on?"
"No... I want to revel in this moment for a little longer."
"Me too."